| its been a long time!! |
[13 Oct 2004|09:25pm] |
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mood |
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 ditzy |
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well loadsa stuff has gone on....2 much 2 mention....sum good, sum bad, sum just plain weird! my lovely lovely sweet m8 widget has left kettering 2 go live in wales for a year (WHY????? STOOPID BOY!!!) gonna miss him more than mint choc chip ice cream. my rock and roll partner in crime gone! not much else 2 say really. oh yeah i aint been online l8ly coz stoopid laptop is a big gaylord....grrrr! and i really wanna go on the jules and lulu show....im pursueding my m8 "chicken stu" dat it wud b funny but he dont wanna wear pink.....silly boy he wud look mightly dashing in it!! lol!! anyway will update properly soon!! gonna b on the trisha show soon in the audience!! haha!! must video tape dat and play trisha drinkin games 2 it wit my biatches! peace out!
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| i need ink!!! |
[18 Sep 2004|01:16pm] |
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mood |
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 excited |
] |
well fuck it im goin 2 get my other wrist tattooed and have my other wrist tattoo extended! i just need ink! NOW! got my appointment at 2pm and im well excited! u cant beat the feelin of being tattooed!! yay!!
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| is confusion sexy? |
[17 Sep 2004|01:42pm] |
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mood |
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 confused |
] |
messy head times are ahead i can predict. i have no idea why i get in such states of confusion and why i feel so lost all the fuckin time. sometimes i really should just keep my emotions 2 myself and not tell people how i feel coz it always ends up gettin fucked up.
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| speed freek |
[06 Sep 2004|10:07am] |
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mood |
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 bitchy |
] |
wkend woz pretty cool except 3 certain peeps that really really fucked me off! adam is a total wanker....he came lookin 4 me on saturday nite expecting 2 stay at my flat...the fuckin cheek...i had already made plans 2 go 2 a house party wit all my m8s! he then txt me sunday accusing me and my m8s of slashing his tyres...he woz a real cunt about it then about 3 hours l8r he txt me sayin sorry coz he had just found out who had really done it...wot a twat! as if my m8s r that sad and pathetic 2 do that in the 1st place! we r more likely 2 smack him in the face! grrrr!
then zoe...my supposed friend...well she totally offended me and my friends and if i never see her again it will b 2 soon...i had 2 b dragged away coz every1 thought i woz gonna hit her and i wanted 2 but i fink coz i had done pillz it calmed me down!! she broke every unwritten rule of being a friend.
and lastly but not least jake! phoning me at 4am askin me 2 get a taxi 2 the village he lives in and stay at his house coz his g/f woz stayin at her mums....wot a wanker!
this wkend has really opened my eyes 2 lots of things. its shown how much love and trust me and my true friends have for each other...loadsa other dodgy stuff happended but i cant write that in here but its pulled all of us together even more.
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| thinking 2 much. |
[27 Aug 2004|06:40pm] |
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mood |
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optimistic |
] |
ive had a weird wk since the events of last wkend....ive decided that adam is seriously bad news for me so im gonna avoid him as much as possible...i need time 2 think and sort my head out.
sam is being amazing as usual...i love her so much she just understands exactly where im at and is helpin me sort stuff out in my head....without her i wud b so lost. all my other m8s r being great aswell, every1 is trying 2 understand everything that is happening to me and im really fuckin grateful for them all!! this whole situation im goin through has suddenly cum 2 a head after 10 years of tryin 2 deal wit stuff but really i woz just blockin it all out till now. now im finally seeing the situation not running from it.
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| i do no how 2 head-fuck myself! |
[23 Aug 2004|07:08pm] |
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mood |
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confused |
] |
well crazy fuckin wkend! went out sat nite...heard that this lovely bloke i have known for years really fancies me...which is flattering but im still messed up over adam...saw him aswell sat nite...i tried 2 avoid him but he came over 2 me and started talkin....then he txt me later after the pub and wanted 2 talk so i let him come round my flat....god zoe and adz were soooo pissed off at me (but only coz they worry bout me). corrine who knows us both really well thinks that adam is regretting splitting up wit me....i dunno....i aint gettin my hopes up over it though.
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| all the weird stuff happens 2 me and my m8s! |
[21 Aug 2004|05:45pm] |
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mood |
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happy |
] |
last nite woz wikkid! gettin on really well wit peeps i usually dont associate wit! met an old shag from years ago again last nite....omg he is sooooo fit! turns out and i didnt no this but he used 2 b married and has a kid!! crazy!! he lives in france now and woz just back visiting m8s! woz lovely catching up though! he really cheered me up and made me feel special! oh happy days eh?
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[13 Aug 2004|11:22am] |
HAPPY BIRTHDAY FOR SUNDAY RYAN (MY ADOPTED LITTLE BRO)!!!!
GET WRECKED 2MOZ NITE HUN!!
LUV N GLITTER ABZ XxX
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| oh my god happy isnt the word! |
[13 Aug 2004|11:12am] |
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mood |
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happy |
] |
woke up 2day in a strangely happy mood! im actually glad im single again. i did miss adam but realise that my m8s and family are far more important than ANY man! im just gonna enjoy each day for wot it has 2 offer. im babysitting for lyndz this afternoon....her baby is lovely and im adopted aunty abz!! hehe!! got ned and chelseas wedding 2moz which im takin one of my oldest friends 2 as my date...john...he rocks! i love him dearly!! the weekend is gonna b wikkid!
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| bleughh! |
[12 Aug 2004|06:04pm] |
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mood |
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confused |
] |
grrr! i dunno....i keep talkin 2 adam on msn...dunno if its doin me more harm than good...wot shud i do? block him? i dont no whether its 2 soon 2 b m8s. grrrr!
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| meh! |
[10 Aug 2004|10:54am] |
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mood |
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 sad |
] |
i used 2 like the rain. now its just crap. just makes me sad. miss him. grrr. wish i didnt.
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| forgive and forget. |
[10 Aug 2004|12:07am] |
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mood |
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 contemplative |
] |
spoke 2 adam. still feel like ive been used but hey u learn from every experience dont ya? gonna try and b m8s still...lifes 2 short 2 hate ppl and i dont wanna h8 adam at all. we had sum wikkid times together and had such a laugh. just need 2 put it down 2 life. it isnt his fault he doesnt feel the same as i did is it? u cant changed ppls emotions and feelings about stuff like this...also im glad it ended now than in say 1 or 2 months time coz that wud have been far 2 hard 2 deal with. think im gonna have a total break from relationships for awhile and work out wot i want. have sum me time! and catch up with my m8s and family!
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| 3 ways 2 make u feel better about yourself. |
[08 Aug 2004|12:04pm] |
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mood |
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angry |
] |
1....get stoopidly drunken for 48 hours.
2....have an ex tell u how wonderful u r and how they miss u then tell them u wud never get back with them...EVER!
3....fuck another ex.
ive had a shitty wkend. but its made me realise how wikkid my m8s r....they have all been so lovely and caring. i shudnt have shagged pete again but i did. jake kept txtin and phoning me coz he misses me (hes got a g/f) and he woz the 1 dat split up wit me and dat woz well over a year ago but it woz quite nice 2 have sum1 flatter me so much! i saw adam yesterday evening...woz weird. he totally lead me on and he knows dat. he woz the 1 dat kept cumin round my flat and agreeing 2 cum 2 weddings and meet my m8s etc etc. i just wish he had been honest but hey men cant do dat can they? well not the men i date! it just keeps happening and i cant b bothered with it anymore.
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| fuck men. |
[07 Aug 2004|04:23pm] |
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mood |
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 depressed |
] |
leadin me on...makin me think more than it is.....fuckin men. i cant cope wit it any more. its shit. use and abuse me...datz all dat happens. i knew it woz 2 gud 2 last. i dont ever wanna get involved wit any1 else ever.
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| arghhh....i feel so rough! |
[05 Aug 2004|12:25pm] |
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mood |
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 sick |
] |
i wanna b sick and ive got a mad headache which isnt helped by workmen digging up my road!! since bloody 8am this morning!! arghhhhh!!! this will teach me 2 go out drinkin on a wednesday....it woz a m8s birthday so i have an excuse! got VERY drunk dunno wot i said 2 adam...fink i told him how i felt! oh dear!! i need shooting!!
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| red wine stains and nose bleeds! |
[02 Aug 2004|10:46pm] |
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mood |
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bitchy |
] |
well i woz ment 2 b havin a drug free wkend coz ive had weird flu/virus thing so had a couple of bottles of vino on fri nite wit adam and mushy then john came round (hes totally over-protective of me and has never met adam b4) but all went really well they got on like they had known each other 4 years ryan came round aswell i woz way drunken by then!! went 2 see my mum and dad on sat morning then went shoppin wit adz in the afternoon then 2 the pub and round 2 ed and lyndz for more drinkin...goode woz there aswell and we decided we needed drugs so went rushin over 2 see 1 bloke who incidently had cid so me and goode did sum of that (oops) then we had 2 wait til l8r 4 coke so went 2 back 2 mine 2 drink more and do sum k that goode had then once we were wankered decided 2 go pub i woz literally there for 5mins b4 i had 2 go get coke so went rushin off 2 sort it and on the way back adam called and came and picked us up and i went home wit adam and left every1 in the pub....did much snorting...got stropy then horny!!! sunday adam had a fight (he does martial arts) so had 2 b up at twat-o-clock!! grrr!! got bored so snorted more and totally cleaned my flat...i even got on my hands and knees and scrubbed the kitchen floor....omg!!!! i went cleaning crazy!!! adam came back round after his fight and we got wrecked and listened and danced 2 lots of tunes and planned 2 do loadsa stuff but then cudnt b arsed so went out 2 eat instead!!! i cudnt eat so started drinkin!! then we snorted more and i went drinkin wit widget, roxy, nath, deano, goode and stu and sum random peeps!!! went 2 shite townie pubs and me and deano took the piss dancing!!! adam came 2 meet me l8r and got 2 meet widget and roxy properly!! had a really fun nite but tut tut me for doin SO many drugs AGAIN!!! lookin forward 2 sat nite though coz me,adam, nath, roxy, goode, widget and sum others r all goin camping!! YAY!!!! shud b a right laugh!!! and i imagine more drugs...oh dear!!!!
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| rollercoaster! |
[27 Jul 2004|04:25pm] |
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mood |
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contemplative |
] |
i havent updated for a few days. not really been up2 much...went 2 naths party on saturday nite which woz fun. adam woz away all weekend but i got 2 see him sunday nite and last nite. im kinda scared about how im starting 2 feel about him but excited all at the same time. hes pretty god damn amazing. i wanna say how i feel but im not even sure wots goin on in my head!!! it just feels right.
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| lazy days and vodka! |
[17 Jul 2004|02:11pm] |
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mood |
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pleased |
] |
oh my god i am actually offically seein adam now!! haha!! after about 2 months off seein him virtually everyday!!! im really happy....i care a lot for him and hes really great!! my m8s all get on well wit him....spent last nite drinkin vodka wit adz & widget..whos birthday it is 2day..HAPPY BIRTHDAY M8!! and happy birthday to julie aswell!!! charlie came 2 visit again....tis becomming a regular friday nite event now!! goin pub shortly for birthday celebrations!! got 2 see sum of my old m8s last nite aswell which woz really cool!! everything seems like its all goin well at the mo....*touch wood*!!!
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| how i love 2 shop! |
[09 Jul 2004|07:45pm] |
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mood |
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ecstatic |
] |
had a really cool afternoon shoppin wit sam...whos lookin more pregnant by the minute!! bless her!! bought a very sexy dress for ned & chelseas evening wedding reception!! john came round for tea!! adz is sortly 2 b arriving wit charlie...hehe!! adam is stayin round all weekend!! hehe!! and im still smiling!! things cudnt really b any better at the mo....well unless i got given £10000000!!!! hehe!! sam said she has never seen me so happy!! yay!!
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fluffyabz's journal
